Life updates

So it's been a great deal of time since I've posted anything at all on this site. I've certainly thought about it, even drafted up some posts, but nothing seemed to be of any worth so I left things blank.

I spent my day slowly cleaning my place and doing all of our laundry. My cleaning soundtrack consists of Jon Brion, Jon Nakamatsu's Chopin Selected Works, and a new one, Peter Broderick's "Music for Falling From Trees." I'm feeling more than a little burnt out lately and find I can cry at the drop of a hat. Oddly not tears of frustration. I've been more than a little morose lately, and I'm somewhat consumed with thoughts of losing loved ones. I've been a little overzealous in reading everything I can get my eyes on detailing the crash of Air France Flight 447. It's all I can think about when I let my mind wander and all I can think of is how horrible a way to go it would be. I think I need to re-read Don Delillo's White Noise to get myself to see how ridiculous I am in fixating so much on death. At least laundry is one of my most favorite chores.

On an entirely different note, please if you have not done so already, go see Up. It's beautiful and magical and everything you could ever ask a movie to be. We went last night with a group of friends and I found myself crying within the first ten minutes of the movie. And not the usual one or two drops of tears that are usually drawn at the end of a good movie. I was audibly sobbing at one point and kind of embarrassed. I might actually do the unthinkable and pay my $10 again to see it a second time in theaters.

I head to Europe soon. I'm not sure how to feel about that yet, I still feel like I'm unorganized, yet have done everything I can possibly think of to prepare. I'm very intimidated by the idea of traveling alone, but I think this will be a growing experience for me. The longest Steve and I have been apart from each other in the past three years is one week while he was at the organic farm learning the ways of the land. I find myself feeling more than a little sad when he's at work or goes out late at night and I'm a little annoyed at myself for feeling so clingy. Luckily he is not annoyed, but I need to do something on my own to re-gain a little balance. Luckily my friend Jessica, who I am traveling with, is in a quite similar position with her boyfriend so we'll be helping each other get back on track a little.

I think part of the reason why I've been unable to post anything of worth on this site is because I'm no longer writing papers. Blogging was always a way for me to warm up for the real deal, also a very effective tool of procrastination. My life has become a bit formulaic lately, but oddly I'm not unhappy about that. I go to work, I come home, either Steve is working late and I cook myself pasta or stir fry, watch a movie or read a book, go to bed. If Steve is not working late we'll go for a walk, cook together, maybe grab a drink with friends. I go to his gigs about once every other week. I see friends a decent amount to grab a drink or a coffee. Life is just flowing. I know I'll tire of this flow soon and will need a new project or challenge, but honestly there are a ton of unfinished projects and challenges that I'm simply avoiding. Namely my artwork which I keep forcing myself to work at and hating everything that I come up with. I'm definitely in a period of stunted creativity. Hopefully I'll come back from vacation recharged.

I just finished reading Murakami's Norweigen Wood. While a fast and engaging read I didn't really love it. The sex was kind of awkwardly overt in a way that seemed too trying on his part and I didn't really fall in love with any of the characters. I guess I just never really connected with the book. I am glad that I read it though, I know that he had aimed to write a simple and purely plot driven novel and it was a great book to have on hand while waiting for the bus. I think I'm due a re-read of Wind Up Bird. I'm kind of searching for the book that will get me through my 15 hour flights and coming up short. I've been in a bit of a 'book rut' in the sense that I've been reading Nabokov, Murakami, Nabokov, Murakami. I actually have about 15 books I've purchased over the past three months and have only read one of them (Junot Diaz's Brief and Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao - read it, you must!) the rest have collected dust...

This post is a wonky beast.