Oh dear friends and internet wasteland, I've been neglectful of this outlet. I return to this page every other month or so to re-read my own posts and to wrap myself in the memories, however, it has occurred to me that I've been rereading the same material over and over the past two years and not really getting any further in life from it. Time to officially move forward.
Cheesy as it sounds, last year was the year for nostalgia and for reflecting on my 25 years. Marrying Steve, not such a difficult thing, as you may well know. Being married? Quite mind blowing really. Oh to read those blog entries in the single years - yes, I found my old xanga, and gawd how I love reading those old posts, ah the old boyfriends, and the college, and the silly verbal crutches.. most of which I've retained.
What does 19 year old Meggie have in common with 25 year old Meggie? Well, quite a bit, she could still list her "expertise" as "indulgence," but never would you find the 25 yr old Meggie drinking till midnight then going to the library until 4 a.m. How the fuck did I even begin to DO that? My life was certainly a practice in extremes. I guess, as maybe I tried to express in those vows I choked out between my tears, Steve has brought balance (sanity) to my life.
That being said, the sub-topic of this post is that same evil beast that is the spine and sinew of any of my blog entries, insomnia.
Oh insomnia, you plagued me in my youth, propelled me in the college years, and spared me in the wedding planning phase, but here you are again. This time it's quite terrible, because no longer am I able to bounce back after four hours of sleep - I truly need those 8 or 9 hours. Generally I force myself into my bed and lie there, slamming the eyelids shut, cycling through my practiced attempts to trick my brain. Count down from 100, think of breathing, envision a black space, envision a peaceful space, think of the ocean, think of everything in life you are grateful for, think of a white space, think of a blue space, open eyes and stare at the texture of the ceiling. So tonight I give in, like the old times, I put the Classic Arts Showcase on the tv, drink some tea, and dig deep (SO DEEP) for this blog post.
Well, there I got distracted by a documentary about Elaine Paige. She might be my most favorite, so brash, dramatic, and loud. Might have to rent Sunset Boulevard this weekend :)
Ok, as per usual, not much substance in this post, but I hope it's the lead in to a renewed habit of life logging.
1 comment:
Why haven't you KEPT blogging?
It is hard. That's true. But I miss reading what you have to say.
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